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(Jeff and Ron sit on a park bench, reading their magazines and watching the world go by.)
RON: Ever wondered what it's like to be an ant?
JEFF: Well, not lately, no. Not since I was studying Insectoid Theology. It's not the sort of thought that pops up into my mind every day of the year. In fact, it might be only once every two or three years, that I wonder what it's like to be an ant.
RON: They seem to have very boring lives, ants. All they do all summer is wander around looking for food. And when one of them has found food, he goes back to all his mates and says "Oi! Food! C'mon!" and they all go off and join a chain-gang to take it back.
JEFF: Yep, it'd be interesting if people worked like that. Huge families of hundreds of people all exploring outwards from their house, until one of them finds a 7-11 and tells the others to all come and line-up so they can all carry back the chips and Coke. And they're all walking up and down the corridor of their house, and just crawling over anyone else they happen to meet going the other way.
RON: (inspired) Yeah!...
JEFF: Oi Ron, is this conversation leading anywhere? Is there some great ant theory that you're about to impart upon the world; or in the absence of most of the world, me?
RON: Not really, no.
JEFF: What, there's nothing you'd like to say?
RON: Well, okay. I mean. Only that I never hear ants shouting to each other about where they've found food, that's all. Maybe they all have two-way radios.
JEFF: Two-way radios for ants?
RON: Just think about it... it'd be much more efficient than one ant having to pass the word around about a leaking syrup bottle, to millions of other ants. Some kind of walkie-talkie system would be obvious. Or some other kind of radio broadcast system.
JEFF: ANT-FM?
RON: Oh don't be silly. I'm sure they're not advanced enough to have FM. For heaven's sake, some of them probably don't even have colour TV yet. AM maybe, but not FM.
8: Newsagent
