toxiccustard.com is Daniel Bowen's writing from his uni days in 1990 to approx 1998.
This site is being kept online, but is no longer being actively updated. Some links and other information may no longer be correct.
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25/3/2003 - From the archives: Gulf war cartoon
16/3/2003 - Star Trek: Enterprise Flash animation
10/1/2003 - Great Vomits: New stories from readers
31/12/2001 - Broken News: Shock, Disbelief as Station Ticket Machine Works
22/10/2001 - The ToxicCustard.com wanky Flash intro!
Diary of an Average Australian.
Updated most days.
Latest posts: • Burke Road level crossing: train punctuality improving, but no visible benefits for trams yet • Station plans: the new Ormond/Mckinnon/Bentleigh • Ferries: to work, they need a lot more than a guaranteed comfortable seat • Ten years since ?Meeting Our Transport Challenges? • In-cab signalling and platform doors ? two pieces of the puzzle • The perfect, durable, compact umbrella • Barred from Bayswater ? that escalated quickly • Old photos from May 2006 • Bentleigh/Mckinnon/Ormond level crossings: update and Q+A • State Budget 2016
Guide To Australia - The answers to all those niggling questions you've always had. Is there really a McDonalds on top of Uluru? How do you shotgun a Tim Tam? Ten things you need to know when visiting Australia.
How to destroy your video - Consumers' revenge. My VCR had annoyed me for too long. So one Saturday afternoon, aided by various assistants, I comprehensively destroyed it, using a combination of toast, dishwashing liquid, a hammer, a lake, a car, a pick axe, and a small explosive device. GET THE T-SHIRT!
Toxic History of the World . 455 BC: The Parthenon is proposed, but fails to get planning approval. 14 AD: Augustus dies. The Romans begin advertising in all the fashionable journals for a replacement. "Emperor wanted. Preferably mad. Must look good in a laurel wreath and have own toga."
Great Vomits of the Twentieth Century. Vomit stories from readers (and locations) the world over - submit your own!
Shakespeare. What if Romeo had gone to the wrong balcony? MacDuff has Macbeth's head; how can he shake the cops off his trail? Julius Caesar should beware the ides of March... but just what is an ide, anyway? And now you can get Shakespeare clown nose merchandise!!!
Doctor Who. Will the Doctor and his assistant with the very silly name convince the humans to trust them, and somehow defeat the Unrealistatrons from Mothball 6?
The Year 2031. Nothing much has changed really - people still don't know how to program their videos. But NASA is getting ready for the first manned mission to Venus - sponsored by Coke.
Custard Television. Everything you need to know about TV and Video. What do the TV stations really mean in their promos? The latest informative programme ratings.
USA holiday. That Grand Canyon really is quite big. Have a laugh at the alleged Australian food at the Outback Steakhouse. And try and wrap your head around the idea of an entire nation that doesn't know metric.
Computing Dictionary. RAM (v.) - what you do when the plug won't quite fit. Why beta software that renders your computer unbootable isn't such a great idea. And what's the real truth behind screen savers?
Ron & Jeff in their struggle with life, religion, charity and daytime television. Is it really a good idea to hail a taxi by jumping out in front of it? What is Christmas, anyway?
Order Of The Skint. Let us predict your future and take all your money. And discover the miraculous powers of Bowen Nurk Power!
Life in the Office. How did your desk get that messy? When they re-organise the office, how do you make sure you don't end up sitting next to someone you hate?
Wallpaper. Grab a few classic Custard images to harass your colleagues and your mum. See our version of the healthy eating Food Pyramid. Guard your computer with Safe-T-Man.
Back Issues: Almost seven years of TCWF, in all their pre-Web plain text glory!
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