Toxic Custard Workshop Files The Adventures of Ron and Jeff

2: More Religion

(Ron and Jeff are walking down the street)

RON: Anyway, the thing about religion is... how do you tell which is the right one?

JEFF: Well, the Jeff School Of Thought says look for the religious group who haven't been subject to persecution, flood, fire, pestilence, famine, burglary, etc. 'Cos if you can find people who have managed to avoid all that, it's probable that God is on their side.

RON: So the Christians are out?

JEFF: Oh yeah. I think if God was looking favourably at Christians, he wouldn't have aimed that tornado at the church in Texas a couple of years ago.

RON: So who's left...?

JEFF: Well, until yesterday I thought it might be the little practised religion of "Ohm Bah Zork". That denomination actually only has one follower.

RON: So what happened?

JEFF: Someone nicked his video.

(Jeff goes into someone's garden, dragging Ron with him. Jeff grabs Ron by the hair and knocks his head into the door. The door opens.)

RON: Ow.. Ow..

MAN: Yes?

JEFF: Good afternoon sir. Allow us to introduce ourselves. We are from the combined Holy Church Insurance Vacuum-Cleaner Sales Premium Bond Corporation. And we would like to offer you safety from eternal damnation, a new Electrolux, and the best premium on your house this side of the equator.

MAN: Oh yeah?

JEFF: Yes sir. I am in a position to offer these three items for the bargain price of... ummm... (to Ron) What's a slab of lager worth these days?

RON: About twenty bucks.

JEFF: (to man) About twenty bucks. Cash please.

MAN: Yeah? That sounds like a great deal.

(He gets twenty dollars out of his wallet and gives it to Jeff.)

JEFF: Thank you sir. I'll just get your policy, and your new vacuum-cleaner from the van. It has magnificent suction.

(Ron and Jeff walk out of the garden, and run off down the street.)

1: Voting, Television, Religion 3: Golf

TCWF - Ron & Jeff