**************************************************************************** ### # # ### ##### ## # # # ## ## # # ### ##### ## ### ### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #### ### # # # # # # # # # ## # #### ### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ### # ## # # # ## ## ## ### # # # # # ### ____________________________________________________________________________ # # ### #### # # #### # # ### #### ##### # # ##### #### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #### ### ### ##### # # #### ##### # # ##### ### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ### ### # # # # #### # # ### # # # ##### ##### #### *****NUMBERS 186 TO 190***********BY DANIEL BOWEN (tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu)***** "Essentially Toxic Custard" toxic custard workshop files 186 - 14th february 1994 - by daniel bowen toxic custard worksh ### ######### ######### 1994 - by daniel bowen toxic custard worksh ### ### ### ### 1994 - by daniel bowen toxic custard worksh ### ######### ######### 1994 - by daniel bowen toxic custard worksh ### ### ### ### ### 1994 - by daniel bowen toxic custard worksh ### ######### ######### 1994 - by daniel bowen toxic custard workshop files 186 - 14th february 1994 - by daniel bowen TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 19 SAMURAI Historically, a Japanese military retainer. Now the attracter of an abnormal amount of attention from young teenage boys, action film producers, and others stuck in their puberty. SAND Small grains of rock, which turn up everywhere for weeks after you've been to the beach. SCHEMA What you call a diagram when it gets too complicated and impressive to be called a diagram. SEA Where fish fingers come from. SEATTLE City in the north-western United States, in the state of Washington. This should not be confused with Washington DC, which is a city in the north-east. People who've failed geography, claim that 93% of places in the United States are named after George Washington. Rock music experts predict that by 2020, all musicians will be from Seattle. SEMESTER A university half-year, especially designed so that the first ten or so weeks are piss-easy, followed by about four weeks of assignment/revision/exam absolute misery. SHAMPOO Although shampoo is designed to clean hair, its name gives away its true make-up: artificial shit. For centuries the aristocracy continually got very annoyed, and beheaded the shit-sodden peasants for having less dandruff than they did. Then about two hundred years ago they realised that mixing shit into your hair was actually one of the best ways to get rid of dandruff. Of course, the cosmetics companies couldn't market real shit as a hair cleaner, so chemists came up with an artificial version. SHOTGUN Inspector Unnecessary-Violence's preferred method of persuasion. SIREN Originally a sea-nymph whose songs lured sailors to their death, a siren is now a loud wailing noise that goes off all the time and that everyone ignores because they hope its only a test. SCEPTIC TANK A new type of plumbing device. Once you flush, it looks at the situation and says "gee, I dunno guv, I'm not sure I can get that big turd down the S bend. Just that little too big, know what I mean? Looks very dodgy to me." SPECIAL GUESTS What used to be known as a support act. When listening to support acts at concerts, look out for the drunken teenager nearby who has decided that he doesn't like them, and is demanding almost incomprehensibly that they "geeeeett offffff!" This demand will even continue between bands, when the PA is playing music off one of the roadies' CDs. When the main act actually comes on, he will follow this up with "oooiiyaaaaaeeaahh!" type screaming (now identified as being a regression to ancient caveman hunting calls), shouting himself hoarse in the vain hope that the star hears him and will be moved to personally come up to his seat and say hello. And of course clapping along with the songs, half a second out of sync, while gently swaying in the breeze of the indoor auditorium. Yes, all these things and more happened at the Lenny Kravitz concert the other night. Lenny Kravitz rolled into town with 14 trucks - 4 for the equipment, 10 for his ego. After some great music, Lenny declared that there "is only one God!" Problem is, he thinks it's him. STEERING COMMITTEE Picture a huge semi-trailer, hurtling uncontrolled down the road... and inside the vast cab, is the steering committee, trying to pass a motion to swerve to avoid a little old lady. "I would like to put forward a motion to steer 10 degrees left, to dodge the little old lady." "Any seconders? Objections...?" "Well, I'm uncertain at this point as to the potential viability of such a move. It would almost certainly involve indicator loadings, excess steering wheel turning, and the need for specialist mirror engineers to check the traffic in the next lane. I would propose cost-benefit analysis..." *SQUISH* "... ah well, I think the point may now be academic. But let's formulate a review study of the situation, in order that..." STATIONERY Objects such as pens, pencils, stapler and sticky-tape. These have been studied over the last few years, and it has now been confirmed that they are able to move around a house or office on their own. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Somewhere in the dark recesses of your mind you're screaming. It is a scream of terror. Of horror. And of question. "Where the fuck can I ftp the Toxic Custard back-issues from!?" And from the distant light comes the booming reply. "Email tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu for details..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1994 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, NTC Systems------| I, and I alone, am responsible Telecom Australia, Melbourne---| for the above drivel which I dare dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au-| to let come forth from my fingers TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu| onto the unsuspecting net. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Total Toxic Custard" ---T-O-X-I-C---------------> No. 187 ------C-U-S-T-A-R-D-----------------> 21/2/94 ---------W-O-R-K-S-H-O-P----------> written by ----F-I-L-E-S--------------------------> Daniel Bowen TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 20 TAMPON COMMERCIAL A unique form of advertising, that shows just about everything except for the actual product. Typically seen are young women bouncing around beaches, on horses and running around gardens smiling a lot, enjoying their weekends. 98% of tampon commercial slogans contain the word "free", or a derivative. Which, if they're not careful, will result in hundreds of women flocking around tampon factories demanding they hand them over for free. TAPE, MAGNETIC A form of storage, tape was especially developed to make it easy to record and re-record valuable images, sounds or data, onto it. The tape can then be played back at will, before suddenly getting caught in the heads of your tape deck one day and consequently losing all the valuable images, sounds and/or data. That's if a friendly neighbourhood magnet doesn't get at it first. The key to keeping your recordings safe is to invest in quality tapes, store them sensibly (ie in the most inconvenient way), and buy lots of head cleaners, demagnetisers, and whatever else the record shops can talk you into buying. TARTAN Checked pattern that is far too loud, but permitted to be so because it's Scottish tradition. TASMANIA That bit of Australia that always gets forgotten. TELEMARKETING The practice of ringing you up when you're on the toilet just to ask you what you think about council mergers, would you like to donate to charity X, or would you like to get Call Waiting put on your phone. TELEVISION Just a small box that sits in the corner of the room, but still manages to dominate your life. TEST Computer term. The name of every file that you can't think of a proper name for. TIE Useless piece of clothing, usually worn by men. For this reason the tie is often seen as a phallic symbol, but in fact it was devised as a substitute to prevent men being irritated by not being able to rub their own chest hair. The tie is therefore seen as the symbol of sophisticated man, an evolving species, with no time for the troglodytes of yesterday. "Ug, me no fondle chest hair. Me fondle tie instead. Tie good. Me fiddle with knot." THESIS A work of great knowledge and thorough research on a very obscure subject, which upon publication is put in a library somewhere and never read again by anyone of great importance, except other thesis writers. THIEF i. Profession somehow made semi-glamorous in fantasy games, by making out that they are a noble breed of honourable men and women, who have their own organised societies and guilds, rather than weedy scumbags who break into your house and nick your video. ii. The character that no-one wants when they first play Dungeons & Dragons, because they can't kill monsters or cast cool spells. TOTAL The sum or entire amount of a number of things, which if added by hand tends not to relate in any way shape or form to the values or attributes of those things. Oh bugger, where's the calculator got to? TOXIC CUSTARD WORKSHOP FILES Fictional alleged humour written during the early-1990s by some deranged git in Australia. Now known to cause permanent brain damage if consumed for long periods of time. TRAFFIC A mass of sometimes moving, sometimes stationary metal blobs on rubber wheels, which doesn't seem to diminish even on declared smog-alert days. TRAM Large green thing which rumbles down city streets, carrying people to where they want to go. Generally follows a predetermined path, but in no way subscribes to outlandish concepts such as "timetables". It is generally recognised that trams, like computers, shops, and a multitude of other services, would run much smoother if no-one actually used them.(*) (*) Trams would also run smoother if dickheads in cars could remember what the yellow lines meant, and how to avoid driving in lanes that feature this popular decoration. Computers would run smoother if not only were they not subjected to users, but could also reject programs and data, and just sit around all day humming. Shops would run smoother if they held no stock, never sold anything, and were filled in with solid concrete to prevent looters. TREE Large plant form, most commonly favoured by dogs, children afflicted with climbing fixations, hungry cats, and logging companies. TRIANGLE Three-sided object which, even in isosceles form, begins to get very boring after only a short time. For maximum excitement, an object with many more sides should be considered. TRUMPET Musical instrument which is much harder to play than it looks. TUSSOCK Word only used in novels about farms in out of the way places. TUTOR One who teaches at a university. On the evolutionary scale, a tutor is barely above a lecturer, although usually several fashion points ahead. University tutors are widely believed to have very easy conditions, with only a few hours a week of tutoring, long holidays at the end of the year, corduroy loading, and long-necked skivvies provided free. TYPEWRITER Writing implement now on the verge of obscurity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Live and direct from a keyboard somewhere in the southern hemisphere, you have been watching Toxic Custard. For details of back-issues available, email tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1994 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, NTC Systems------| Telecom Australia, Melbourne---| Telecom is not responsible for dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au-| Daniel's words. Honestly. TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "You all know Toxic Custard" |||||||| |||||| || || ||||||| Welcome to the Toxic Custard || || || | || || Workshop Files. Number 188, || || ||||| |||||| 28th February 1994. Written by || |||||| | | || Daniel Bowen. TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 21 UFO Unidentified Flying Object. Also known by the acronym ACATMTTSAFMCAMMFFDOMLAIPIMSAMMP (Aliens Came And Took Me To Their Spaceship And Fed Me Cornflakes And Made Me Forget Five Days Of My Life And Inserted Probes Into My Skull And Made Me Pregnant.) It is now almost certain that UFOs were specifically designed to enable poor country-folk to rip off current affairs shows. Actually, most UFOs are considerably smaller than flying saucers, and are usually attributed to overhead seagulls. ULTRA Prefix invented by marketing people. Used when "very" just isn't adequate. "Ultra" is actually quite old hat, most reputable marketing people having moved on to "mega". But be careful, because "mega" comes from the Greek, and they might want it back. UMBRELLA An object of amazing qualities. Umbrellas are even more adept at detaching themselves from their owners than stationery. They also send out subconscious thoughts to their owners. On days when it will rain, they urge "leave me at home... it won't rain... it will be dry..." And on days when it will be sunny and bright all day they claim "well, it might rain. Sky looks a little cloudy... you wouldn't want to get soaked, would you..." Many believe that umbrellas are in league with the Weather Bureau, who for years have contrived to cause weather harassment. UP Direction. To move up is to defy gravity for a short time, after which a plunging downward motion will follow. (See Investment). URCHIN Descriptive of a mischievous child, especially a boy, who has not destroyed any of your property. An urchin who *has* destroyed some of your property is more properly known as a "little bastard that I'm gonna lynch if I get my hands on him..." URINE What, you want this prestigious journal to sink to the level of the gutter (or even the sewer), by resorting to getting a few cheap laughs by talking about matters pertaining to piss? By discussing discharge? By explaining excreta? Not a hope. But I will launch into a brief tirade of naughty words: BUM BUM BUM FARTY ANUS FORESKIN BUTTOCK!! USHER Formerly a person who would escort the audiences to their seats, cinema ushers are now relegated to clearing out the snogging teenagers in the back-row who haven't realised the film has ended. If you ever feel intimidated by over-zealous ushers, just look them in the eye and try to estimate how much more money you earn.(*) (*) If you don't, then accusing them of fascist leanings may be the correct course of action. Or not. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - So, the Australian Winter Olympic team... from the land down under... from the wide brown flat land of searing sun and steaming kangaroo shit... have finally managed to get a medal. That's right, Australia has got a Winter Olympics medal for the first time ever. Bronze. And while the rest of the country bathes in the euphoria, what I want to know is, why did it take so bloody long?! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There is an old proverb which says "He who inserts his naughty bits into cabbages is indeed a pervert of the first degree". These, and many other such wise words were first writ by an ancestor of mine, Sir Gerard Flopsquoggling deBowen. Sir Gerard was a philosopher, sage, and mad axeman for the Marquis deBastard, during the late 1600s. Many of Sir Gerard's words are now famous, and have been maintained by the family for centuries on post-it notes stuck on the fridge. Such pearls of wisdom as: "He who hesitates, loses his map, and wanders into the deepest part of Thieves' Forest at the dead of night with a bag full of gold and no dagger of his own, is not only lost, but probably dead." "A stitch in time will heal if it is bandaged correctly and if one can keep away the mad woman with the leeches." "One can hide behind a tree, one can hide in a hole, but one who hides in a plague pit cannot and will not be found again." and "A man with his head cut off is no longer a man that is a good credit risk." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Oh devotees of the Mighty Oracle. Let us kneel and praise Him. Oh Mighty Oracle... whose indexes are always self-sustaining, and whose queries need no optimising from thy humble servants... whose database is forever fully normalised... whose performance hast always outweighed that of the false gods... and whose DBA options art truly mind-boggling... please answer this, a miserable query from your unworthy servants: Select IResCode from Results, Calls where Results.ICallNo = Calls.ICallNo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "I wish Toxic Custard wasn't over for another week." Well tough. It is. But don't despair; there's another 187 editions of this shit just waiting to be read by every idiot who decides their life has been leading up to this. Where are these back-issues available? Just email for details! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1994 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, Atlas Development--| My words are purely my own. NTC, Telecom Australia, Melbourne| Not anyone else's. I, and only dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au---| I, am responsible for them. TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu--| Honest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Victory For Toxic Custard" ---======--=====-==------==-======-===--======---======----march-7th- -----==---==-----==------==-==------==-==----==-==----==------------- -----==---==-----==--==--==-======--==--======---=======--written by- -----==---==------========--==------==-==----==-------==------daniel- -----==----=====---==--==---==------==--======--=======--------bowen- TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 22 VACANT Empty. Often descriptive of a house, flat, piece of land, mind, etc. The vacancy of houses, flats and land is usually advertised on big signs outside, and in newspapers. The vacancy of minds is advertised by a lack of understanding of even basic things such as gravity, a suitably vague sounding voice, and an annoying habit of "oh yeah, I agree with you totally right.. but..." VACUUM-CLEANER Men have traditionally said of vacuum-cleaners "what's that?" New men know what vacuum-cleaners are, even if they've never touched them in the flesh. The vacuum-cleaner is essentially a device designed to scare the shit out of the cat, give an impression that the carpet is clean, and fill its own bag just as you're about to vacuum a really dirty room because you are expecting guests to arrive five minutes ago. VAGRANT One of those people who make you feel guilty (for not giving them money) and angry (for them bothering you in the first place) at the same time. Actually most vagrants in this city either keep themselves to themselves by being sleepy and smelly on street benches, or by cheerfully walking their way through inner-city streets with no shoes on, mumbling theories on modern civilisation. VALENTINE'S DAY The 14th of February. Every year on this day, any men who have forgotten the significance of the day report to casualty wards with their testicles in a small bag in their pocket. VANDAL Vandals are people who have their brain surgically removed and then go around destroying, damaging and generally depreciating anything they feel like, just because they want to. Psychiatrists have described this behaviour as regression, and a primal act of defiance against society. Society reply that this is a load of bullshit, and that they, with their psychiatrists, should be lined up against a graffiti covered wall and shot. I worry about some of the people writing graffiti, actually. Quite apart from the odd desire to have their meaningless illiterate scribbles displayed for all the world to see, I can tell that the number of cool nicknames left available for use is obviously a problem. Opposite my local station, two people have sprayed their names: "Q-Kumba" and "Salads". Now, I hesitate to jump to conclusions, but I think that any society where today's rebels have to resort to fruit and vegetables to get their nicknames is a society that needs to eat more meat. VANQUISH A word most commonly used in solemn ceremonies, usually of the form "Behold the devil, I now vanquish thee" in weird religious ceremonies or bad fantasy books. The amusing thing being that the speaker is generally of the mistaken belief that the use of a little Olde English will result in the demise of Satan for all eternity. "Oh no Earthlings, you have commanded me to be vanquished, so I must! Argghhh! You held up white candles! I'm done for!" It's far more likely to catch his notice, where-upon he proclaims "You must be joking, let's be having yer then", and drags the anguished soul down into hell. VAPULATION A flogging. Still used by judges to avoid public outcry when they sentence prisoners to "three months jail and ten vapulations." VARNISH What you promise yourself you'll do to that unfinished furniture you have bought. And still haven't done twenty years later when it begins to fall apart. VAULT Like a basement, but more sinister. VELOCITY Like speed, but more scientific-sounding. VENN DIAGRAM Diagram of circles and lines which gives you your only chance to use that plastic template for drawing anything other than random arcs and odd-looking futuristic cities. VENTRILOQUIST Someone whose antics you get sick of after just a few minutes, and want to throw a bucket of water over just to see their dummy make blubbering noises. VETO Device by which one absolute bastard can spoil the work of everyone else. VILLAGE Word now almost exclusively used in tourist brochures just after the adjectives "enchanting" and "traditional". And possibly "quaint". Generally descriptive of a small settlement with more churches than shops, which gets boring rapidly, despite being picturesque. VIRTUAL REALITY Another one of those concepts that no-one over 45 really understands. See also: Information superhighway, Interactive TV. [Actually, come to think of it, *I* don't really understand all of these.] VOLUNTARY Descriptive of an action which you are doing purely because you have been embarrassed into it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If it keeps on raining, Custard's gonna break. What am I on about? TCWF back- issues, of course! Couldn't you guess? No? Oh well. Back-issues are still available. Email tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu for details. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c) 1994 Daniel Bowen -- Daniel Bowen, Atlas Development--| From time to time random dribblings NTC, Telecom Australia, Melbourne| come out of my mind. Telecom dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au---| Australia is not responsible for TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu--| them. Neither is anyone else. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Why Why Why Toxic Custard" ..... ... . . ..... . .... .... . . . C u s.t.a r d. . F i.l.e s . T.o.x i c . . ... . ..... . . . . . . .W o.r k s.h o p . . . 1 4 M a r c h 1 9 9 4 . ... . . . . .... .... b y D a n i e l B o w e n TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA - VOLUME 23 WADE A modified version of swimming for when you either just don't feel like actual swimming, have a paranoid fear of sharks or man-eating tuna, or have happened to arrive at the beach with a severe lack of bathing apparatus. WALL Structure of astounding simplicity. In terms of building and design, you can't get much simpler than a wall. Actually, no, I'm wrong, a floor is simpler to build. Because you don't have to worry about it falling over. Because it already has. Floors generally have very little job satisfaction, because it entails letting people walk all over them. WALLET Small container for carrying vital items such as credit cards, money, etc. Wallets traditionally vanish from your person at the most inconvenient time, resulting in you making a futile tour of your pockets looking for it, despite knowing full well you've left it at home. Wallets are also the traditional home for at least several dozen automatic teller slips, business cards from people you can't remember meeting, receipts of all shapes and sizes, and various other papers hidden in the more out-of-the-way pockets. Regular cleaning (say, every six months) will result in great pleasure as your wallet suddenly loses three-quarters of its weight and thickness, and it becomes possible again to carry it in your back pocket and walk at the same time. WALTZ The second rhythm button from the left. Doo ch ch Doo ch ch... WAR I think Frankie Goes To Hollywood had it right. Put the leaders - the actual people who've insulted each others' grandmothers or whatever - in the ring, and let them beat the shit out of each other. And after the claims and counter-claims of steroids have been dismissed, we'd have a winner. Of course, us voters would soon realise what was going to happen if they didn't have strong leaders. John Major would be out. Japan's PM would be replaced with a Sumo wrestler. Bill Clinton might stand a chance if he keeps working out - but no more McDonalds. China would find someone who *isn't* due for a pension. And as for Australia, Keating might be good at calling people scumbags and recalcitrants, but I reckon we might get Bronwyn Bishop before too long. Yeah... stick the knee in, Bronwyn! WASH An activity that, if men had their way, would only be done once or twice a month. Down beneath it all, most men would much rather cover themselves in mud and walk around in skins. Which explains the popularity of football. WEATHER Environmental conditions which necessitate the wearing of whatever article/s of clothing you just happen not to have brought with you. This is because weather has an average unpredictability factor of 97%. WHARF One of those places where noisy men hang around chewing tobacco and swearing and going on strike a lot. WINTER That time of year that everyone hates despite initially welcoming it after a long summer. Except for people who live so close to the equator that they don't notice the difference. Lucky bastards. WISH Futile optimistic desire for something. WORSHIP A be very humble to someone else, in the vain hope that they will grant you a wish. Worship may involve icons, idols, sacrifices, large cheques sent to the Bahamas, prayer, and drinking Kool-aid. One of the more unusual practices of worship took place amongst the Pangoylegoatsoup Sect of the early 1920s. These were a bunch of people so frightened of the imminent rise of the Anti-Christ, Byllierae Sirus, that they ritually set fire to their own hair, and chased shaven goats through the streets. Some dismissed them as loonies, but who's laughing now, eh?!? WORRY Some things do worry me - like the balding bearded guy on the train this morning reading "The Problem of Population". He looked like in between stamp collecting he was seriously considering genocide. WRONG Incorrect, erroneous. Generally, the things that are most likely to be wrong are those which you feel the most confident about. This confidence has usually led you to proclaim it is an undeniable fact to all and sundry, and to generally stake your reputation/life/ fortune on it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ./ / Back in the early nineties, when ./ __/_ almost no-one had a mobile phone, / / / / Find us in and the Internet was just half / /_/_/ the Internet its current size, TCWF back- / /| | Yellow Pages. issues were seldom seen. But no / / | | longer. For details on how to get /_/ |_| (No, I don't think them, send mail right now, right it's worth that much here - tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu either. And why does ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TCWF get two Copyright (c) 1994 Daniel Bowen consecutive entries?!) -- Daniel Bowen, Atlas Development--| The difference between me and NTC, Telecom Australia, Melbourne| Telecom Australia is that I'm an dbowen@vcomtelc.telecom.com.au---| individual with my own twisted TCWF stuff: tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu--| opinions, and that Telecom is a phone company, whose responsibilities do not include my opinions. PS. The spelling checker wanted to change "Keating" to "Cheating". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ the Toxic Custard Workshop Files by Daniel Bowen, Melbourne, Australia Copyright (c) 1994 Daniel Bowen. May be freely distributed without profit provided this notice remains intact. For subscription information, contact tcwf@gnu.ai.mit.edu