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Macbeth

Act II: Scene III: Inverness. Macbeth's Castle.

LENNOXGood-morrow, noble sir.
MACBETHMornin' all, have a good kip?
MACDUFFIs the king stirring, worthy thane?
MACBETHNope, he got a bit piddly last night.
MACDUFFHe did command me to call timely on him; I have almost slipped the hour.
MACBETHCripes, well I'm not waking up the king; he'll have my head lopped off!
MACDUFFI know this is a joyful trouble to you; But yet 'tis one.
MACBETHYeah well.... someone's gotta wake up the old git. This is the door.
I'll go and put the kettle on.
MACDUFFI'll make to bold to call, For 'tis my limited service. [HE GOES IN]
LENNOXGoes the king hence to-day?
MACBETHYeah, that's what it says in his appointment diary.
LENNOXThe night has been unruly: where we lay,
our chimneys were blown down, and as they say,
Lamentings heard i'th'air, strange screams of death,
And prophesying with accents terrible
Of dire combustion and confused events
New hatched to th'woeful time. The obscure bird
Clamoured the livelong night: some say, the earth
Was feverous and did shake.
MACBETHYeah, I was pissed too.
LENNOXMy young remembrance cannot parallel a fellow to it.
[MACDUFF RETURNS]
MACDUFFO horror! horror! horror! Tongue, nor heart,
Cannot conceive nor name thee!
MACBETH, LENNOXWhat's the matter?
MACDUFFConfusion now hath made his masterpiece!
Most sacrilegious murder hath broke ope
The Lord's anointed temple, and stole thence
The life o'th' building.
MACBETHCome again?
LENNOXMean you his majesty?
MACDUFFApproach the chamber, and destroy your sight
With a new Gorgon: do not bid me speak;
See, and then speak yourselves.
MACBETHOh shit... And we only just had the carpet steam-cleaned.

WELCOME BACK. AND NOW WE CROSS LIVE TO SCOTLAND, WHERE JONATHON DIMBLEBY IS ON THE SCENE, WAITING TO FILL US IN ON THE LATEST DEVELOPMENTS ON THE MURDER OF THE KING.

JONATHONThank you Richard. I have with me here a nobleman of Scotland, in fact the man who found the murdered king. Mr Macduff, what has happened here?
MACDUFFMurder and treason! Look on death itself! up, up and see
The great doom's image!
As from your graves rise up, and walk like sprites,
To countenance this horror!
JONATHONI see. Well, also here is Mr Lennox, another nobleman of Scotland.
LENNOXAghast I stood as I surveyed the scene
Of the horror of this day.
Though the murderer is not found,
Mayhaps he is closer than we think.
JONATHONAnd finally, Mr Macbeth. Any comment to make?
MACBETHYes Jonathon. Although it does look at first glance that the king has been brutally murdered, I have inspected the situation, and it looks very much to me as if the rats got him.
JONATHONRats?
MACBETHYes Jonathon, rats. After all, we must remember that this is the middle ages, and that bubonic plague is commonplace.
JONATHONYes, well, on that note, back to the studio.


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