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Pisces, the fish finger - Feb 19 to Mar 20

Aries, the airhead - Mar 21 to Apr 19

Taurus, the bullshitter - Apr 20 to May 20

Gemini, the Holden - May 21 to Jun 20

Cancer, the disease - Jun 21 to Jul 22

Leo, the large feline - Jul 23 to Aug 22

Virgo, the person who has never had sex - Aug 23 to Sep 22

Libra, the pantyliner - Sep 23 to Oct 22

Scorpio, the scarey little critter - Oct 23 to Nov 21

Sagittarius, the one that's hard to spell - Nov 22 to Dec 21

Capricorn, the tropic of - Dec 22 to Jan 19

I can't remember when my birthday is

I don't believe in this Zodiac crap

Exactly midnight on Friday the 13th. Or is that Saturday the 14th?

Between midnight and 6am, and I've had to hear about it from my parents every day since.

Between 6am and midday

Between midday and 6pm

Between 6pm and midnight

Can't remember, and my parents never told me.

I've seen the video

Blue, I have a fascination for the sea

Green, I have a fascination for green googly-eyed monsters

That kind of bluish-green-ish shade thing

Red, I have a fascination for blood

Yellow, I have a fascination for custard

None, I'm colourblind

None of the above, I like much more interesting colours

Male

Neither

Not sure

None of your business, what's that got to do with anything?

Lobster, because they have a hard shell and they're delicious

Aardvark, because it spends all its time eating small insects

Eagle, because it's impressive and majestic

Wombat, because it's got a cool name and leaves square droppings

Elephant, because it never forgets anything, especially not events like wasting precious minutes of your life participating in crap like this

Rabbit, because it bounces around the place looking fluffy and cute

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