|
29-Dec-2003 |
-
Looking for some excitement in your 2004 calendar? How about a calendar of
English roundabouts?
-
If your pet is misbehaving, why not try psychoanalysis? Edinburgh University
now
offers courses. Note for people remote from Edinburgh (not that I'm naming
any names) it is offered as distance learning.
-
So, now that Libya has joined the side of niceness, will the USA remove them from the
Axis of Evil?
Leave a comment [] |
|
22-Dec-2003 |
|
Leave a comment [] |
|
15-Dec-2003 |
-
Zimbabwe demonstrators have thrown devastating insults at Commonwealth leaders:
"Howard The coward", "McKinnon the liar", and my personal favourite: "Blair
the toilet".
-
12 year old who previously accidentally shot his brother dead has been
denied a firearm licence. I mean, good grief... with his father's
"antagonism to the police", convictions for stalking and assault, did we expect
this result or what?!
-
Microsoft panics when it realises the latest version of Office includes
a font with two swastikas in it.
Leave a comment [] |
|
8-Dec-2003 |
-
As advertised on MyCareer.com.au -
required: One opposition leader. Job filled.
-
When McDonalds told Waynetta Nolan they couldn't put mayo on her cheeseburger,
she threw it through the Drive-Thru (Throw-Thru) window. They then gave her a
special burger, and she complained about the fries being cold. They gave her new
fries, then she complained about the drink. Jeez. Then, apparently not placated,
she
ran down the manager in the carpark. Nice.
-
Donald Rumsfeld wins the
Foot in Mouth gobbledegook award for this: "Reports that say that
something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know,
there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are
known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But
there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."
-
Austrian trade union claims endless Christmas carols are "psycho-terrorism"
on staff (Thanks Heather)
-
I'm sure you've heard by now that searching Google for "Miserable
Failure" finds George W Bush. Yup,
he's
been Google bombed.
-
Seven year-old student punished for telling classmates
about his lesbian mother. And made to write lines: "I will never use the
word 'gay' in school again". Remind me, is this really the 21st century?
Leave a comment [] |
|
1-Dec-2003 |
|
Leave a comment [] |
|
24-Nov-2003 |
|
Leave a comment [] |
|
17-Nov-2003 |
-
The Net's new sport: baiting the
Nigerian scammers - with some
very funny results. (Thanks Jekke)
-
Jamie Oliver calendar
features huge penis on the cover... or possibly not. (Thanks Sus)
Leave a comment
[] |
|
10-Nov-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
3-Nov-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
27-Oct-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
20-Oct-2003 |
- Winning soccer strategy:
wear women's underwear. (Thanks Jessie)
- The former
Iraqi Information Minister is back, broadcasting on Arab TV. (Thanks
Brian)
- Treasurer Peter Costello
shows his wit, as it turns out toddlers are claiming the $7000 first home
owners grant. "It never occurred to me until this morning that toddlers
were signing contracts for land. I don't believe they can do it. Aside from
the fact that toddlers mostly can't sign their names ... maybe they're doing a
finger painting on the contract." (Thanks Pratap)
- French tobacconists hold a
national strike over cigarette price rises. Well. Bummer. The President of
the Confederation of Licensed Tobacco Sellers seems to think it's not a good
idea to discourage people from smoking. He's worried about his industry's
future. Time to diversify, dude.
Leave a comment [] |
|
13-Oct-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
6-Oct-2003 |
- I wouldn't expect the average American to know or care that Australia's
Prime Minister is John Howard. Coalition of the willing or no coalition of the
willing. But I'd expect the White House to take enough care in writing their
briefing paper for journalists accompanying Bush here not to
say it's John Major.
- Notorious anti-gay Fred Phelps wants a monument in a Wyoming park
celebrating the bashing death of a gay student five years ago. (Thanks
Jekke)
- Poor old Richard Alston - he won't be remembered fondly as
Communications Minister. (Thanks Amanda)
- Show and tell: a five year old student shows her classmates how to make a
bong from a Coke bottle. (Thanks Brian)
- Gina Wilkinson, the ABC Reporter who encouraged kids to climb onto disused
missiles (see last week),
has left the ABC.
- The Sun Herald: "Headline
in here would be great"
Leave a comment
[] |
|
29-Sep-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
22-Sep-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
25-Aug-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
18-Aug-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
11-Aug-2003 |
|
Leave a comment
[] |
|
4-Aug-2003 |
|
|
|
28-Jul-2003 |
|
|
|
21-Jul-2003 |
|
|
|
7-Jul-2003 |
|
|
|
30-Jun-2003 |
|
|
|
23-Jun-2003 |
|
|
|
16-Jun-2003 |
|
|
|
9-Jun-2003 |
|
|
|
2-Jun-2003 |
|
|
|
26-May-2003 |
|
|
|
12-May-2003 |
|
|
|
5-May-2003 |
|
|
|
28-Apr-2003 |
- The UN demands that the
ES "Nigger" Brown Stand at the stadium in Toowoomba have its name changed,
but the Toowoomba Sportsground Trust says they won't do it, and the state
government backs them up. However it seems this UK reporter has missed the
fact that ES Brown may have been called "Nigger" because, not in spite
of, having fair skin and blond hair. The same reason Australians commonly
nickname redheads "bluey" - and indeed why Virgin called its Australian
domestic airline "Virgin
Blue" - with planes painted red. (Thanks David)
- Posters for local elections in Wales go up...
in Edinburgh. (Thanks Jessica)
- The Iraqi Information Minister
has been made into a talking doll by some
infidel toy company
in Connecticut. (Thanks Christie)
- Forces of darkness to come out of hiding, as
Victoria repeals laws making witchcraft, fortune telling and the occult
illegal. Says the Attorney General: "...the Bracks Government governs
for all Victorians, whether they be witches, sorcerers or magicians."
|
|
21-Apr-2003 |
|
|
|
14-Apr-2003 |
|
|
|
7-Apr-2003 |
- Please help us. Judging from his policies, our communications minister
Richard Alston doesn't appear to very much at all about communications, and
the web in particular. Which is probably why his ministry has unveiled a
rather unimpressive-looking web site which cost us taxpayers
a
mere four million dollars. Ah... that would be (mostly) the Vignette
licence, methinks. And if you've ever been inside a Vignette corporation
office, you'll know where the money goes. I once visited Vignette's Melbourne
office. Probably not a major operation either, but the whole place was decked
out in an ancient Egyptian theme. It was a severe (probably fatal) case of
interior designer decadence.
- A bunch of jokers post a
spoof CNN story about Bill Gates being murdered, the Korean media gets
hold of it, and the Korean stock market dips 1.5%. (thanks Phil)
- Melbourne school teacher turns out to have
claimed to be Adolf Hitler's son and local leader of a group listed by the
US state department as terrorists.
|
|
31-Mar-2003 |
- Inside trading suspect claims
he is a time traveller from the year 2256. Yeah right, as if. Like he'd
get back to 2256 with his fifty billion dollars and discover that due to
inflation, it was only enough to buy a postage stamp. (thanks Brian) STOP
PRESS:
See
Snopes' page on this. Turns out this is from the World Weekly News, not
exactly the world's most reputable publication. Oh well.
- Pity the poor residents of Kenzingen, Germany. Their town is now famous
the world over for a resident who got
trapped in his own sofa bed for several hours, until he was rescued by
police. (thanks Glen)
- Headline of the week: Supreme
Court Tries Sodomy. (thanks David)
|
|
24-Mar-2003 |
|
|
|
17-Mar-2003 |
|
|
|
10-Mar-2003 |
|
|
|
3-Mar-2003 |
|
|
|
24-Feb-2003 |
|
|
|
17-Feb-2003 |
- Ah, good old Richard Alston, you can see him relaxing at home in front of
that huge TV that Telstra gave him. Oh that's all right, John Laws
understands.
John Howard probably does too, since he's been lent one too.
- Infamous hacker
Kevin Mitnick gets... hacked. (thanks David)
- Those nice people at Kelloggs wants to claim the rights over all printed
material pertaining to
chocolate crackles. Nice.
- A computer incorrectly decides eight and a half thousand people are dead.
(thanks Brian)
|
|
10-Feb-2003 |
|
|
|
3-Feb-2003 |
|
|
|
27-Jan-2003 |
|
|
|
13-Jan-2003 |
- Larry Ellison and Paul Allen sail into Auckland. Their combined wealth is
equal to New Zealand's Gross Domestic Product.
- He was only on screen for three seconds, but Bret MacKenzie's role as an
elf in Lord Of The Rings is now the stuff of legends.
- Bloke leaves his wallet on top of his car when leaving a service station.
People report money flying off the car. Cops presume it is an armed robber
and/or a carjacking. They stop the car,
pull the whole family out at gunpoint, and then shoot the dog. Yep. Aren't
you glad you don't live in Tennessee? (Unless you do.) (Thanks Rick). The
CNN story has dialogue, which to be honest makes it sound like something
out of The Simpsons. And the local news channel is giving it blanket
coverage... including (if you're up for it) the video of the shooting,
released by the police.
- Lexmark invokes the Digital Millennium Copyright Act... to go after a
rival company selling replacement toner cartridges. (Thanks... uhh.. Lex)
- Family of four
for sale in eBay. Well, until eBay pulled the plug. (Thanks Phil)
|
