| 19-Nov-2001 |
- Tuvalu, a Pacific island which is likely to sink
underwater in the next few years, asked a number of local countries to take
their citizens. Australia refused, 'cos that's the kind of thing our
immigration minister likes doing these days. It should be noted that
Australia has the unenviable record of being the highest per capita
greenhouse gas generators in the world. And just when you thought the irony
was flowing about as thickly as it could, get this: Now, a few months later,
Australia
is asking Tuvalu to take Oz-bound asylum seekers!
- A couple of window cleaners got
stuck 44 floors up for a couple of hours. Oh boy, what if you needed to
go to the toilet or something.
- Bloke at Hartsfield (Atlanta, Georgia) airport walking to flight. Realises
he's left his video camera behind. Runs out of secure area to get it, then
back in, runs the wrong way on the escalator. Result? Bloke
arrested. Airport evacuated. Flights diverted. Hundreds of flights
delayed over the following 24 hours. Whoops.
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| 12-Nov-2001 |
- This sounds like a cynical marketing exercise to me: the
Executive Chute, a parachute for people who work in tall buildings. It's
comforting to know that it's never been tested in situ... (thanks Harmony)
- Just when you thought Sydney had a monopoly on cockroaches, researchers in
Ohio have found THE KING of cockroaches - a fossilised beastie NINE
CENTIMETRES long. Eeek! (Damn, no picture.)
- This isn't news, but it's a great site, especially for people who
have to clean up for slobs. Now, you wouldn't be reading this site in
the first place if you were offended by coarse language, right? Okay.
(thanks Brian)
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| 5-Nov-2001 |
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| 29-Oct-2001 |
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| 22-Oct-2001 |
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| 15-Oct-2001 |
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| 8-Oct-2001 |
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| 1-Oct-2001 |
-
Need a publicity stunt? What could be better than scattering
500 plastic ducks around London with a URL
on them? (Thanks Graeme)
-
The
Onion launches their WTC edition... accompanied by a staggering number
of Red Cross and Salvos adverts. Certainly a good cause, though I wonder if
they're feeling guilty? (Thanks Dan)
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| 24-Sep-2001 |
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| 17-Sep-2001 |
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| 10-Sep-2001 |
- Remember the guy who
farted in a police station - that is instead of "breaking and
entering", he entered and broke wind - then was arrested for offensive
behaviour? Well, he's let off. Err, that is, he's been let off. That is, the
conviction was dismissed.
- There's a sensible idea for a burglar: steal
some guy's crocodile!
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| 3-Sep-2001 |
- Oh yeah, this is rich... bloke in Sydney who was hanging out of a train to
spray his name on the outside of it, gets hit by steel pole, somehow
survives and has brain damage... and now, 7 years later, he's
suing the State Rail Authority!
- Meanwhile, getting drunk and playing
with a hand grenade sounds like a really good idea...
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| 27-Aug-2001 |
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| 13-Aug-2001 |
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| 6-Aug-2001 |
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| 30-Jul-2001 |
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| 16-Jul-2001 |
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| 9-Jul-2001 |
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| 2-Jul-2001 |
- The British Big Brother house is
to be demolished. Ah good - preferably with the programme makers and
occupants inside it?
- An exciting new invention patented: The
wheel. Hmm... clever stuff. That might have possibilities.
- Man calls
real estate agent an idiot. Jeez, if you're going to start insulting
real estate agents, the possibilities are endless...
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| 25-Jun-2001 |
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| 18-Jun-2001 |
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| 11-Jun-2001
- See if you can spot the theme this week |
- Scotland Yard tries to track down which
detective farted during a drugs raid and - horror of horrors - didn't
apologise! (Thanks Jade)
- Meanwhile on the other side of the planet, a Melbourne man tries to take
revenge by
farting in a police station - and they've fined him for it?! Get real!
- New Zealand has ruled out introducing a
flatulence tax for sheep and cows... I can just imagine the forms you
might have to fill in for that one... (Thanks Gerrit).
- And Australian scientists are developing a vaccine to reduce
flatulence and burping in sheep and cows! Has anybody considered just
improving their diets, and telling them not to eat so fast?
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| 4-Jun-2001 |
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| 28-May-2001 |
- Is it true Darwin Award nominee, or just an urban legend that got into the
AAP newsfeed? The story of the American teenager who got
himself killed by smoking on top of a crude oil tank. See, that proves
smoking kills. Ah, found some corroborative
evidence! That restores my faith in human stupidity!
- In fact, cigarette packets might be about
to get gorier... Maybe they should have a warning: Smoking on top of a
crude oil tank is a bloody stupid thing to do. Hey, here's a good laugh - download
one of these ads and leave it running on your favourite local smoker's
PC... Not that us non-smokers want to gloat of course, oh no.
- Gotta love this - the 14
year old boy who forced the opposition leader to re-write his budget
reply speech
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| 21-May-2001 |
- Hot new video game! Play Catch
The Sperm today!
- Turtle gets a
fibreglass "mobile home" to replace its damaged shell
- If only the
runaway train thing had ended more dramatically, Hollywood would be
already making a movie version. Still, I suppose they could change the
script so it finished with a massive explosion or something.
|
| 14-May-2001 |
- RIP
Douglas Adams - so long and thanks for all the fish.
- Okay, own up - who sent their Happy Mother's Day message
by SMS? Sounds like a good way to really annoy her.
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| 7-May-2001 |
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| 30-Apr-2001 |
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| 23-Apr-2001 |
-
British UFO spotters bureau is closing down because of a
lack of flying saucers. Sure, that's what THEY want us to
believe.
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And I thought the muzak at Parliament station was bad
enough... London Underground are trying out perfume!
-
... but it's nice to know that if nuclear war had happened
in the 50s, the Brits reckoned the most serious problem would be
some delayed trains.
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| 16-Apr-2001 |
-
Oh the horror! Disfigured by a
hot pickle!
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Messages at the breakfast table... in
your toast. What if you're halfway through eating it when you remember
to check for vital messages? Or maybe it's all just an April Fools' Day
prank?
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Hmmmm... A disco
for fat people.
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| 9-Apr-2001 |
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