Ban on guns (toys only)
Dallas to ban sale of toy (and replica) guns, to reduce crime. No move to ban actual guns.
Some US Air Marshalls are required to file at least one Surveillance Detection Report per month, and some are submitting innocent people just to meet the quota.
Fireman in spin-dryer. (Thanks Pratap)
Lonely man makes 37,760 silent calls to directory enquiries. (Thanks Debbie)