For sale on ebay: a banana.

Man under bridge claims to be troll, demands payment from pedestrians. (Thanks MGS)

Latest winner of the Bulwer-Lytton prize for worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel: Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you’ve had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean. (Thanks Debbie)

Like Australia, England was bailed out of the World Cup. Here’s ten uses for unwanted English flags. (Thanks Andy)