Some low security British prisoners have been given the keys to their own cells, because staff numbers are stretched so far that they need to be able to let themselves out in the event of fire.

Parking inspectors fine a dead man.

The US Air Force are testing invisible armour. Sounds like something out of Dungeons and Dragons. (Thanks MGS)

A woman who had hung herself wasn’t reported for several hours because the locals thought the corse was a halloween decoration.

British banks to ban piggybanks because they might offend Muslims? As it turns out, no. Despite the story being picked up by any number of media outlets, MediaWatch found it to be false.

Pumpkin weighing 557Kg wins giant vegetable competition. (Thanks Debbie)

A late wedding present for Princess Mary and Prince Frederick of Denmark: a working W-class tram.

Study shows only one in ten French people regularly use soap. (Thanks Pratap)

“God told me to invade Iraq“, says Bush. Ahhh I see. Shame he didn’t tell where the WMDs are.

The bible translated into SMS.

Fake testicles for neutered dogs. (Thanks MGS)

Forget Alien vs Predator. Try snake vs alligator. Eww. Messy. (Thanks Amanda)

Fire at an Aardman studios warehouse destroys Wallace and Gromit sets and props, as well as material from Morph, Creature Comforts and Chicken Run. W+G creator Nick Park managed some perspective though: “Even though it’s precious stuff and nostalgic - and it’s dreadful news for the company, in the light of other tragedies it’s not a big deal.” (Thanks Ian)

After Prince Andrew refuses a security scan at Melbourne airport, they refuse to let him board his flight. Eventually he relents.

The Orthodox Church designates a Russian admiral as the patron saint of nuclear-armed, long-distance Russian bombers. (Thanks Pratap)

TV weatherman quits/is sacked after claiming the Japanese mafia caused Hurricane Katrina. (Thanks MGS)

Gorillas seen using tools for the first time (apart from car repair shops). (Thanks Amanda)