The US FDA bans British-supplied rations being shipped to hurricane victims — the same rations being used by NATO and being sent to British troops in Iraq — and incinerates them instead. (Thanks Chris) This story has been established to be false. Blame the Mirror!

Terry Pratchett has a laugh at JK Rowling for saying she didn’t realise she wrote fantasy: “I would have thought that the wizards, witches, trolls, unicorns, hidden worlds, jumping chocolate frogs, owl mail, magic food, ghosts, broomsticks and spells would have given her a clue?”

Gambian soccer fans on a plane decide to fake an air emergency, so they can land in time to get to a game.

Armed military dolphins (!) are on the loose, having escaped during Hurricane Katrina.