The Zimbabwe secret police launch an investigation into the Zimbabwe Cricket Union’s new logo, as some of their more paranoid number see the opposition party’s initials hidden in it. (Thanks David)

An Indiana pet store owner claims to see Satan’s image on the shell of a turtle that was the only survivor of a fire. Quick! Sell it on Ebay! (Thanks Brian)

British research shows what your mobile phone ringtone says about you. People who opt for the old fashioned ring tone think they are ever so high-brow, but may end up coming across as pretentious. — Oh. That’s mine. If a mobile user has recordings of themselves, their partner or child, the survey suggests they be more than a little self-obsessed. Yup, sounds plausible.

Some critics describe NBC’s new sitcom as the most “original” comedy for years. Not bad, considering it’s a re-make of The Office.

Two is one too many: a German man who ended up with two penises due to an operation, showed his wife, who wasn’t impressed, and left him. (Thanks Shell)

Some bloke in a balaclava (the item of clothing) robbed a bank in Balaclava (the suburb) this morning.

A British single woman used Freedom Of Information legislation to look for “eligible bachelors within Hampshire constabulary between the ages of 35 and 49 and details of their email addresses, salary details and pension values”.

Man disguises himself as his dead mother to collect her pension. (Thanks Mike)

Three elderly siblings live with their father for ten years without realising he’s dead. (Thanks Chris)

For sale on eBay: One time machine (broken) US $647.59.

Richard Smith plans to travel the USA, risking arrest by breaking bizarre laws, such as whale-hunting in Utah, falling asleep in a cheese factory in South Dakota, and driving more than 100 times around the town square of Oxford, Mississippi.

Russian scientists develop a drug to prolong drunkenness. (Thanks Phil)

Thailand plans a tidal wave theme park, with simulated waves.