Since July 1999, I’ve been finding and posting quirky stories from around the web. (Sadly, the oldest link, to the Woodstock Platinum MasterCard, is no longer current, though happily you can see it courtesy of Archive.org.)

But this is the last News You Had To Have. It’s going on indefinite hiatus. Sorry, I know some people enjoy it (and I have an ever-loyal small crowd of people who regularly send in stories). But this isn’t anything you can’t read on any number of “Strange news” sections of web sites all over the place, and it’s taking me too much time to sort through it all. Time I don’t have at the moment.

So, one last time for now…

Real estate agent looking through home for sale finds owner dead, hanged in wardrobe.

William Shatner says he never watched Star Trek. (Thanks Nancy)

A woman weighing 215 kilograms dies after emergency workers try to move her from the couch she’d been sitting on for six years. I guess they should have left her there? (Thanks Dan)

Assault charge over a rough handshake.

Red roses banned in Saudi Arabia.

Thank you to all the contributors over the years. Maybe I’ll resume at some stage in the future… time will tell.

Finally, here are some other places you can get strange news stories:

• The Age Oddspot
• CNN Offbeat
• This Is True has been put out weekly since 1994
• Groxx — associated with This Is True, is a Digg-like place for weird news

Discrimination! Man leading girlfriend around by dog lead asked to get off bus. (Thanks Amanda)

Polish post office slower than a snail. (Thanks Shell)

Family hides mock castle behind hay bails to avoid having to apply for planning permission. (Thanks Debbie)

Some viewers of the movie Cloverfield feeling sick from the wobbly camera work.

Wrong in so many ways: Man finds wife working in brothel. (Thanks Pratap)

Police declare “Dumbest criminal” — a man who claimed his mobile phone was stolen, but when the police rang it, they found it in his own pocket. (Thanks Amanda)

Brain tumour patient gets knee surgery — man with knee problem has brain surgery. (Thanks Debbie)

A classic Aussie outback tale: kangaroo attacked by shark.

You’ve heard of snakes on a plane… how about scorpions.

Bad dog! Let go of that man’s danglies! (Thanks Shell)

Man told he can’t take a litre of Vodka onto an aeroplane… drinks it instead, almost dies of alcohol poisoning. (Thanks Noel)

Coach driver relying on satellite navigation ends up in the wrong country. (Thanks Marie)

Developer who wants to set up a 24 hour car wash and petrol station tells a public meeting that “(You) have shit people with a shit area. I can’t see the problem; we are doing something nice for the area.”

Man pulled over for drink driving on a disqualified licence and in an unregistered vehicle, gets back in his car and drives away (with his headlights off) before being booked again.

The headline says it all: Kangaroo farts could ease global warming. (Thanks Marie)

Automated Santa chat bot taken down by Microsoft after it started talking about oral sex. (Thanks Pratap)

Bank robbery foiled by police who were having lunch next door

London Underground’s announcer sacked after recording prank messages taking the piss out of tourists, passengers, and London Underground… which are downloadable from her web site.

Prostitute donates 27 hours of sex to a children’s charity telethon. (Thanks Pratap)

Even those of us who put up with Melbourne’s trains haven’t so far faced this: Thieves steal a Malaysian railway station. (Thanks Marie)

Geelong fan gets tattoos in Thailand which turn out to say “Night Premiers 2006; Gay Premiers 2007″, and his instructions to the tattooist were followed to the letter, including “Right arm” and “Left arm” on his arms. Whoops.

British Airways flying empty planes across the Atlantic.

A man reading The Unknown Terrorist, about paranoia and security fears in the post-9/11 world, is asked to leave a pub because other patrons were alarmed by the book’s cover.

Cook spit roasts a 550Kg camel, feeding around 500 people. (Thanks Debbie)

Tony Abbott’s bad day ends with him swearing at his opponent on camera.

Cafe bans conversations about Facebook.

Stripper called to school birthday party by mistake. (Thanks Michelle)

School boy uses what he saw on Mythbusters to save a man’s life.

Oh, I like this one: NSW plans to destroy hoons’ cars, and publish video footage of the destruction to utterly humiliate them. (Ironically when I viewed it, The Age web site was showing an accompanying ad for some souped-up Nissan sportscar.)

FEMA holds a fake press conference.

Family First candidate Andrew Quah ousted after photos of him nude were emailed around. Says Quah: “I might have been drunk off my face or my political enemies might have drugged me.” Uh huh.

Cashier tells armed robber she’s too busy to deal with him. (Thanks Marie)

Mythbusters is at a nuclear power plant for a future episode: do cockroaches survive a nuclear blast? (Thanks Deb)

Rugby chief resigns after complaints he was drunk at a function… the complaint coming from sponsor Bundaberg Rum. (Thanks David)

Oh, humanity, has it come to this? Drunken men trespassing on an ostrich farm gun down one of the birds after getting kicked by it.

Classy. “The decorum in the Ipswich Magistrate’s call-over court was shattered as the sound of a woman experiencing heightened sexual pleasure rang out for between 10 to 20 seconds.”

Greenpeace says: eat more kangaroos!.

How do you stop speeding? Make out speedsters have small penises.

Cow arrested after causing traffic accidents. (Thanks Marie)

The big heist! $250,000 worth of disposable nappies. (Thanks David)