(S. Rists)
England was boring, ain't got no dosh
Scotland was boring, always got sloshed
Wales was boring, don't wanna be a miner
Why not go down under on an ocean liner
The ship was boring, sailed for months
Couldn't stop vomiting, not even once
Heard that heavy metal in the bar
Just decided I wanna be a rock star
CHORUS:
Gotta get long hair, gonna wear a wig
Buy them tight Levi's all the girls dig
Stick in a banana, make my crotch look big
Get a bogan band together, and go play some gigs
Got into Melbourne, Christ what a dump
Stupid right-turns out past the black-stump
'Cos I was English, got into a fight
They all call me Pommy after that night
Got a band together, played a few pubs
Wouldn't pay us money, but let us get drunk
Power chords made a hell of a noise
But no girls turned up, just Neanderthal boys
CHORUS
Went deaf fast, music too loud
Playin' those power chords in front of the crowd
Scratching on stage? They don't mind
Only problem was I soon went blind
The papers heard, they all came to see
Critics all came to listen to me
"Incomprehensible" is what they wrote
The band don't mind, they can't play a note
CHORUS
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