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Toxic Custard Workshop FilesCustardTelevision

Ratings
Warning: Unbelievably pretentious dialogue that may offend


The Film Censorship Board in association with television channels and movie producers are introducing a number of new ratings to go with the current G, PG, M, MA and R ratings and the qualifiers specifying the depictions of Violence, Sex, Coarse language, Drug use and so on. The new ratings are designed to further guide viewers in their choice of material to watch.

Rating Qualifiers may include
OF - Suitable for viewing by old farts
  • Depictions of lawn bowls
  • Contains footage of Vera Lynn
  • Nostalgia
HI - Suitable only for the humour impaired
  • Blatantly depressing social message
  • Contains unbelievably pretentious dialogue that may offend
  • Pitiful character/s; viewers may feel guilty for laughing during this film
TS - Recommended for train spotters
  • Explicit detail of rolling stock
  • Railway timetable themes
P - Psychopaths
  • Usual performance by Schwarnznegger/Stallone
  • Gratuitous use of blood and guts effects
  • Producers lacked imagination
  • Scenes of mass destruction from which the hero miraculously escapes unharmed
SF - Only for science fiction buffs
  • Includes scenes portraying teleportation
  • Depictions of time travel
  • Contains portrayals of the near future which will look very silly when that time arrives
NK - Recommended for nauseating kids
  • Cuddly animals
  • Cuddly animals that save all the humans
  • Cuddly animals that sacrifice themselves to save all the humans
  • Out of copyright fiction massacred by Disney
  • Macaulay Culkin and/or The Little Fat Kid from Hey Dad

Toxic Custard Workshop Files - Custard Television

Copyright 1996-1997 Daniel Bowen. Originally from TCWF 319, 4/11/1996