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And I thought Q was a bit short on words. I hope X is used a bit more in languages other than English, otherwise I would have to question its very existence. We can't afford to have little-used letters like X being subsidised by the other, more popular letters. I happen to know that some of the letters, the vowels in particular, are not happy with this situation.


Fear or hatred of wogs, chinks, dagos, honkies, Yanks, spics, etc.


The abbreviation for Christmas that not only looks like it should be pronounced eczemas, it also gives the impression that Christ was crucified on a 45 degree angle. But then, if the abbreviation had been +mas then we would have had to pronounce it as "Crossmas".


The medical practice of using big impressive machinery and radiation to take photos of bones. I suppose it's easier than peeling all the skin off, and a good deal less painful. The last time I was watching someone having an x-ray the technician turned round to me and said "please step back". She might as well have said "I'd start running now, if I were you. And don't look back if the sight of burning boiling mutated skin alarms you." Ha. And the suburb where that surgery is has declared itself Nuclear Free.


One of the only sensible, commonly used words starting with X. Also the name of the most boring musical instrument ever devised. It was actually first used by an evil German baron (Von Bastardberg) during the 17th century, as a way of putting his dinner guests to sleep before he robbed them of all possessions. He would then throw them out of one of those windows that adorn the big pointy towers on white castles that you see on jigsaw puzzles.

Actually, jigsaw puzzles make great gifts. If you don't like the person you're giving it to, there are several strategies you can follow.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Appendices

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