[Updated with the new tax rates and average earning figure.]

Australians probably don’t pay the highest tax rates in the world, but neither do we pay the lowest. In turn for handing over our hard-earned dollars, we have quite generous (by world standards) policies regarding social welfare and universal health cover, and various other things that are generally seen as good things but cost a bunch of money to maintain. All the same, you’ll find many Aussies (especially those with higher incomes, paying more tax) are more than happy to whinge to you about it.

Income tax for residents is:

• $1 to $6000 - no tax
• $6001 to $25,000 - 15% of each dollar over $6000
• $25,001 to $75,000 - $2,850 plus 30% of each dollar over $25,000
• $75,001 to $150,000 - $17,850 plus 40% of each dollar over $75,000
• $150,001 and above - $47,850 plus 45% of each dollar over $150,000

There’s an extra 1.5% tax for Medicare. Various deductions and offsets apply, depending on circumstances. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average earnings is $1,162.20 per week, or $60,434.40 per year. Presumbly Mr or Ms Average is paying $13,480.32 in tax out of that, plus $906.52 Medicare tax.

And of course, this is all in Australian dollars. Sometimes it’s known as the Aussie Peso, but at the time of writing, the A$ is worth about US$0.93, close to the highest in years. (For Australians reading who don’t fully understand the international currency market, this does NOT mean you should avoid being paid one dollar coins because they’re worth less.)

• Australian Taxation Office: Individual income tax rates
• Australian Bureau of Statistics: Average weekly earnings

Some of us Aussies recall Paul Hogan before he peaked doing with the Croc Dundee films, sold out to Hollywood, dumped the missus and ran off with a blonde. The Paul Hogan show in the early-80s (or was it the late-70s, or both?) was a total kak-fest. I have particular fondness for the Rod Stewart impersonations and for dare-devil Leo Wanker.

Since then his career has gone a bit downhill, culminating in the 2004 film with Michael Caton, Stange Bedfellows, a movie so bad that it’s not linked from Hogan’s Wikipedia page. I only saw it because they filmed it in my girlfriend’s grandparents’ house. Mind you, the gaggle of old ladies sitting behind us seemed to enjoy it.

But you were asking about the mini-series about the ANZACs. Funnily enough, it was called Anzacs, and was released in 1985, released as Anzacs: The War Down Under in some areas, which is a pretty odd title given that none of the fighting took place on Australian soil. I bet it was given that title for American sales, back when Australia was “flavour of the month”.

If you want to catch it again, apparently it was put out on VHS in the US (available via Amazon.com), though reviewers on IMDB caution against this truncated movie version, which apparently chopped five movie-length episodes of material down to only about two hours. The original is available on DVD from the ABC Shop for A$79.95, or the DVDPlaza price comparison shows prices from A$68.30. (You’ll need a DVD setup that can play Region 4 PAL discs).

• Detailed review of the DVD release

(With assistance from Josh Parris)

Frankly the prospect of this didn’t sound all that appealing to me. I wondered if it would actually taste like chocolate. Not that I’m doubting your choice, of course, but zero sugar…?!?

So I tried some, and you know what? It’s not half bad. No doubt the Splenda sweetner that’s in it helps the taste a bit. Darrell Lea’s web site actually says it’s low carb, by the way, not zero. At A$2.40 per 50 gram bar, it’s not the cheapest, and it’s not exactly fat-free, at 2110Kj (504 calories) per 100 grams.

As for ordering it online, alas no. While Darrell Lea does have a web site which details its product range and shop locations, they don’t do online ordering. A rather 20th century notion, certainly, but perhaps understandable for a relatively small company. Maybe one day they’ll join the modern age and let you order your choccies online, though to be fair, I can’t immediately think of any chocolate shops that let you order online. Most appear to rely on Real World retail.

The good news, however, is that Darrell Lea have international distributors, including in the USA. It’s a bit hard to tell from the distributor’s web site exactly what they sell though: if no luck there, try Darrell Lea’s Customer Service people.

And if you do get hold of lots of it, don’t eat it all at once. The packet warns that “Excess consumption may have a laxative effect.”

Ah, Tim Tams - quite definitely the food of the gods, and probably the favourite chocolate biscuit of Australians.

Now, as for shotgunning a Tim Tam… some might not have heard the term before (it’s also known as the Tim Tam Slam), but I know precisely what you’re talking about, as I suspect do most Australians with Tim Tam experience.

I wasn’t quite sure if this Tim Tam secret could be revealed to people who aren’t Australian citizens, but I checked with the various interested government departments, and with Arnotts, and I have got the all clear to reveal all, provided you all find a packet and try it.

The original version of this article merely listed the steps, but a better way to demonstrate is using video:

The steps in detail:

1. Prepare a drink. It can be hot or cold, whatever your preference. Milk is my favourite, but coffee is good for those who like the stuff.
2. Take Tim Tam from the packet, and try to resist the temptation to just scarf it all down.
3. Take a small bite out of one corner. Let your tastebuds wallow in it for a moment, then take a small bite out of the opposite corner. Ditto.
4. Dip one end into your drink
5. Suck. Go on, SUCK!
6. Your drink will come slowly up into your mouth, along with little bits of Tim Tam. Mmmmm….
7. Keep going until the Tim Tam hull integrity is breached. You’ll know this is happening when the whole thing starts to collapse in your hand. Gobble it up pronto, and allow your tastebuds to enjoy what is best described as a tastebud orgasm.
8. Find the packet and return to step 2.

Links:

• Arnotts, makers of Tim Tams
• Wikipedia: Tim Tams
• Wikipedia: Tim Tam Slam
• More Tim Tam Slam videos

Ah yes, this is something some tourists may not quite think to ask when first planning a visit. Australia is about the size of Continental Western Europe or the main bits of the USA. So assuming you’re not limiting yourself to one city while you’re here (and yeah, some do just come and visit the Sydney Opera House, climb the bridge, ride a ferry, go to the zoo and the Blue Mountains, and then go home), you’ll need to figure out how you’re getting around this big brown land.

Your basic choices are: Plane / train / bus / drive / boat. Or walk or bicycle, but we’ll skip that for this particular explanation. And yogic flying is generally not recommended due to the distances involved.

Flying used to be very expensive, but airline competition in the last few years means it’s no longer necessarily the most pricey way to travel. Qantas and particularly Virgin Blue and Jetstar are now fighting for your airfare dollar, and the cheapest plane tickets are often not much more than the cost of a bus. So if you’re not interested in seeing the scenery along the way (apart from clouds and nice views of the cities as you flew in and out), and especially if you’re flying between capital cities and in a hurry, this is the way to go. Smaller local airlines cover some of the regional cities.

Note however that the cheapest air tickets are generally non-refundable and non-changeable, so you need to be absolutely certain of when and where you intend to fly. Check all the terms and conditions carefully, like that doozy with Jetstar whereby if you’re not checked-in 30 minutes before takeoff, they won’t let you board, full stop. Ground transport can also add a bit to the cost (a taxi could be more expensive than a cheap airfare), though most cities have relatively inexpensive airport buses. (Sydney and Brisbane also have airport trains.) Oh, and expect to pay extra for food and drink on Jetstar and Virgin.

Trains and buses continue to be a good option for some trips. Apart from Darwin by train, they generally serve the city centres, which may mean no extra time or money for ground transport. Booking ahead will often get discounts, and passes can be bought for extended bouts of travelling. They also serve the smaller towns, whereas you can generally only get to the bigger cities by plane.

The scenery can be terrific, indeed the (fairly expensive) tourist trains such as The Overland, Ghan and Indian Pacific use this as the drawcard. Sipping champagne while watching the countryside rolling past outside the window sounds pretty civilised to me (as long as the company is good), though they’re not known for their speed.

The Melbourne to Sydney and Brisbane XPT trains are a little less salubrious, but still reasonably comfortable, and a little faster. If you’re looking for TGV-style very fast trains in Australia though, you’ll be disappointed.

Bumping around in a bus (major operators: Greyhound, Firefly) making quick stops for meals at road houses may be a little less comfortable than a train, but you’ll get where you’re going on the cheap, and buses go to plenty of the smaller towns where planes and trains don’t stop.

Driving is also an option. Many overseas backpackers either buy an old car (colloquially known as a “shitbox”) for the length of their holiday, or rent cars for particular trips. Obviously this is the way to go if no public transport serves where you’re going, and a taxi isn’t do-able, or you just want to do things at precisely your own pace.

Visitors from overseas should make sure they have a licence in English or an International Driving Permit. And for gawd sake don’t forget we drive on the left, and read up on the fiddly rules for where you’re going. (Hook turn, anybody?) If heading out into the bush from a big city, you may want to plan to make the first part of the trip by other means if heavy traffic freaks you out, and if going into the remote areas, take appropriate precautions: food, drink, comms.

The main candidate for travelling by boat is to from the mainland to the northern side of Tasmania. There are various classes of fare (the trip is overnight) and they can take cars on the boat. Avoid of seasick, natch.

So in summary, weigh up your options according to the priorities: destination vs money (some services have travel passes) vs time vs comfort.

PS. Please note: No, there is no bridge to New Zealand. And Uluru is not a day trip from Sydney.